Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Faithful Waiting

A few weeks ago, the first reading for mass was from Exodus 32. I've heard this passage a thousand times (okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but only a slight one), but for some reason, this time it struck me deeply, and I've been praying with it ever since.

"When the people saw that Moses was delayed in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said to him, 'Come, make us a god who will go before us; as for that man Moses who brought us out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has happened to him.'" Exodus 32:1

In the past, whenever I've heard this reading, I've always shaken my head at the Israelites. Dim-witted Israelites, they're ridiculous, I think to myself. It's not that hard, geez. 

I'm convinced that it's moments like that when God laughs.

How often do I become impatient in waiting for the Lord? How often do I lose hope when He doesn't seem to be acting as quickly as I think He should? How often do I think that God is delayed from coming to me and turn to other gods to try to satisfy that impatient spirit within me?

The answer, when I'm truly honest with myself, is sobering.

I'm so quick to turn to other things when I don't think that He's moving as quickly as He should be. Sure, I don't melt all of my gold jewelry and make a giant calf out of it, but I do turn to other things. I look for satisfaction in other people, in worldly things, in my own plans for my life.

Rather than waiting on the Lord to act, I take things into my own hands. And let me tell you, it doesn't usually work out for me. God's prophet doesn't send people to slaughter me, but I end up sinking rather than walking across that water (see Mt 14:29). 

Patience is a tough one. It's difficult to wait on the Lord. It's hard to trust that He's working even when we don't feel it, even when we can't see the fruits of it. So often my limited faith leads me to believe that if I don't feel the Lord working, it's because He's delayed in coming down to me. 

What I forget is that He doesn't need to come down to me. He dwells within me. He is never delayed. His timing is perfect. 

I hope that the next time I think that the Lord is moving slower than I would like Him to, I remember this passage. And I hope that the next time you think He isn't working, you remember this post. Learn from the mistakes of the Israelites. Learn from my mistakes. Learn from your own. 

God's timing doesn't always make sense, but it is exactly what we need.

Lord, root out the other gods of my life that I've created in my impatience. Grant me a growth in that virtue of heroic patience. Help me to trust in Your perfect timing. Open my eyes to Your constant presence, so that I don't miss what You're doing now because I'm too busy waiting for You to come down from the mountain.